It's great that so many progressive guys vote for abortion. But it's not enough. In some ways some men of all political persuasions buy into a sweeping collection of sexist tropes about women, even if they do vote for abortion, and the refusal of many men to stop and listen to what women are saying-----instead of automatically accepting what sexists say----affects far more women than abortion issues. It also leaves half the human race without representation, because if the same sexiest mindset exists amongst both conservative and liberals, then women are better off forming their own party that truly represents their welfare. After all, we counted on our elected Democratic representatives to keep abortion safe and now we have a three-day waiting period in South Dakota that's only going to make abortion completely impossible for desperate women. After abortion comes the topic of rape, and the fact that talking about rape in any way that doesn't include dark alleys, short skirts, and stupid victims makes a lot of men really twitchy. And when I say this, I say this as somebody who's not only participated in dozens if not hundreds of rape discussions online in the past twelve years---as has basically every feminist----but as somebody who's read a book or two. What we're talking about here is some men demanding that women educate them----and then they refuse to listen when women try to do just that, because their denial means more to them than womens' actual lives.....and feelings.
The issue is rape myths and rape apology, the constant derailment of rape discussions by rapist apologists and the blatant attempts to shift the discussion from rape to things like 'misandry' and 'false accusations.' Simply, bluntly, take that crap to your own diary. It's a glaring sign that the commenters trying these tactics don't want to talk about the realities of rape, and want instead to either play Oppression Olympics or try and change the subject to something that hasn't even happened to them yet and is very rare. If the rapes aren't reported, then they can't be blamed on someone.
Rape is not rare. Estimates vary, but based on this (.pdf), the National Crime Victim Survey estimates that amongst females above the age of twelve, there approximately 181,000 rapes. 31% of those were at the hands of strangers. So STFU about the dark alley, the mini skirt, and your stupid advice, okay? At least eighty percent of those rapes were committed by men.
What is also not rare are the myths around rape. What is extremely disturbing, however, is how people fight tooth and nail to keep their myths intact. In every rape discussion, you will get at least four, sometimes five, transparent diversionary tactics, as noted above. These offer no help, are based in the belief that women are stupid and reckless, and lastly, that rape is so common, yet so normal that it's up to women to avoid 'it' like they would a pothole on a very bad road. Yet when confronted with this indisputable fact that their advice portrays a world for women in which any distinction between rapist and man is slim at best, what do you think happens?
They start giving advice, and they keep giving advice, even after you tell them repeatedly that you've heard it all before and it's not help and STFU already.
Read More